No more hiding behind Dad, time to call mom. I'm sure he was looking forward to calling me for that update about as much as I look forward to root canals.
But, since I'm feeling as good as your average over-worked mom on a three day weekend who can now fit into size 6 jeans (sorry, I cannot let that one go) can be, we had a typical Jordan-Mom type conversation:
Jordan: Can I stay at Daniels another night?
Me: Jordan, they are going to think I'm showing up at their house with adoption papers, I think you should come home.
Jordan: But mom, we're watching fireworks.
(At this point I start to give, the mini-guilt trip is working. Then, I do the mental math on how many days he has been gone.)
Me: Jordan, have you BATHED?
Jordan: Yes, I took a bath at Daniel's house today.
Me: Whose clothes are you wearing?
Jordan: Daniel let me borrow some.
(Bath. Clean clothes. Huge sigh of relief from me. Unlike my older two boys, this child does not smell good if he goes a day without bathing. Sort of like when your husband eats one too many deviled eggs at the company picnic.)
Suddenly, I am overcome with a horrible thought.
Me: Jordan-are you wearing the SAME UNDERWEAR from when you first went over there?
Jordan: Um, well, um, I'm wearing Daniel's clothes? (Note to new parents: an answer from a child that comes in the form of a question back at you is never a good thing. Big red flag.)
Suddenly there is a lot of noise back and forth between Jordan and Daniel in the background that slightly resembles Rosie O'Donnell trying to interrupt Bill O'Reilly on a talk show about gay parenting rights. I couldn't tell between the all that noise who was saying what as they tried to answer the question on the fly.
Boys, boys, always be prepared when you call your mother, for the underwear question.
Me: Jordan, WHOSE UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING?
Jordan: Okay mom, gotta go, bye, I'll call you later! Click.
I still have no idea if he's wearing his own four day old underwear. Or Daniel's underwear, clean or not. Or maybe no underwear.
I thought about it for second. He's a pre-teen male. Clean underwear is not high on his priority list. He'll be fine
When Daniel's mom starts to look for the deviled eggs she didn't make, they'll quickly bring my third child home.
3 comments:
Yes, i understand exactly what you mean. I often wonder if chris is wearing Tyler's underwear!! Same with madison taking turns spending the night with her friends. I never see a suitcase!
Angie Pickett
Yeah, I think next time I just won't ask for any details?
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