Weekend Hair Woes

What’s the only thing worse than having hair that’s too short?

Having hair that’s too short first thing in the morning. On a Saturday morning.

I went to brush my teeth this morning and whoa buddy, I took one look at my new do in the bathroom mirror, and realized I’d stepped into Chapter Two of the chopped hair crisis.

I normally drag myself straight to the shower, non-stop. So far, the crew cut hasn’t been an issue in the 72 hours since my bad hair moment turned into bad hair Ground Hog Day.

That all changed this morning.

I was fully intent on wearing my normal non-working-weekend attire of a ball cap, no make up and hoop earrings (at the most.)

My hair chopper off-er Lily failed to warn me that when you have more hair under your arms than on your head, and it’s been caked in hair products the day before, the result the next morning is a finger in the light socket look.

And, when your hair is this short, ball caps (of any style) are not a great idea.I tried out my weekend cap, and quickly realized I’d better wear hoop earrings as big as dinner plates to make sure no one thought I was, um, of the other gender.

Luckily, I didn’t have any errands to run until this afternoon, crisis temporarily averted.

The Target run became unavoidable, I left off the cap, tried to style my crew cut as much as possible, put on my fat sunglasses and started to leave.

I opened the door, yelled behind me, ‘I’ll be right back,’ heard Jordan said ‘okay'.’

Pause.

And then in a voice that was just barely loud enough for me and his tween cohorts to hear, he followed it with ‘Kate.’

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around.

‘What did you just say?’

He replied, in a voice that was a cross between an answer and a question, a plead to laugh with him and not go all UFC on him in front of his friends, ‘Kate?’

The tweenies all howled with laughter.

Chase didn’t get it at first, ‘why are you calling her Kate?’

Jordan filled him in, ‘the hair, you know, mom looks like that lady off TV with all the kids.’

Chase looked from me to Jordan and back.

‘Wow.’ Light bulb moment. He, too, started to howl.

One of them tried to smooth it over, ‘it’s okay mom, you really only look like her before she had all those kids.’ As if.

That’s okay.

I guess they didn’t read the blog about the cat food in the Cocoa Puffs.

We’ll see who gets the last laugh.