Manic Monday

Monday morning, I was very sluggishly trying to get ready for work.

In the process though, I learned a magic trick that would make David Copperfield jealous:

How to make teenage boys disappear in 3 easy steps:

1.) Ask them to take a shower. Especially during the summer.

2.) Ask them to help clean up. Anything. Any time.

3.) When the first two do not get done, take away beloved electronics.

POOF! They will vanish to a friends house right before your very eyes!

I was trying, really trying.

It was a Monday morning. I was doing good to remember to put the coffee pot on, but I managed.

I am still debating which patch of grass is greener, if there is such a thing:

Lawn #1: Trying to get ready for work during the summer, with teenagers, some of whom are not my own, sprawled around my house, when I walk out into the living room.

Some day, I am not going to forget to put the coffee pot on the machine, post-brewing.

No, instead I am going to forget there are other people's children sleeping in my living room and I am going to walk out into the living room, probably to get to the coffee pot, and I will be half dressed.

And right there will be a bunch of traumatized teenagers at my house, and CPS at my door.

Lawn #2: Trying to get ready for work when school is in. There are no strangers sleeping at my house during the school year.

That's always a good thing.

I can make a mad dash to the dryer and not worry about child abuse charges later that day.

But, during the school year, there are endless requests for lunch money, black socks, pants and shoes for band for a concert that same night that no one has informed me of, 'lost' report cards that must be signed, missing gym clothes and 'I'm outta underwear, do you know where it is?'

All before 7 am.

We were all tired from the swim meet yesterday.

They wanted to sleep in. It's summer.

I wanted them to brush their teeth and bathe. At least once before school starts.

Somehow my younger two children have seemed to confused swimming with bathing.

I wanted them to work less at becoming one with the couch cushions.

They, on the other hand, can eat, sleep, breathe, talk on the phone and do nearly everything else needed right from those same couch cushions.

Were it not for trips to the bathroom, which I don't want to know about, I don't think they would get up from that couch from June through August.

I don't think there is any green grass when it comes to getting ready for work with children around, it's all brownish.

Sort of like my lawn right now.

A little green here. A little brown there. Depends on where you stand.

Back to that magic trick: I haven't found the formula yet to make them re-appear.

Guess how hard I'm looking?