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June 1, 2009

With and without mom

Went to Philadelphia this weekend with my mom. How cool is that? So many women dont have moms, much less the ability or interest or finances to go out of town for the weekend. Actually, my mom and I have taken a few trips but this is the first really big one we've taken with no kids and no spouses in a long time. In fact I believe it was 20 years ago this summer that my mom and I drove to Memphis, Tennessee and Nashville for a few days. We did the whole country music trip, Graceland...somewhere there is a photo of a 19 year old me standing in front of Elvis's jet. I remember that trip well-we drove and I was, of course in 1989, blaring Bon Jovi and at some point on the 14 hour trip, my mom said, 'okay, new music.' She was really patient with the music, I have to say. And, while I clearly remember the Grand Old Opry and Country Music Hall of Fame (I was hooked, okay?) the thing I remember about Nashville the most was sharing a King Sized bed with my mom, her having some crazy nightmare and waking up SCREAMING at the top of her lungs because she dreamed there were snakes in the bed! I mean we are talking earth shattering screams from the person in the bed next to you at 3 am-I almost flew out of the window and I dont think I've shared many hotels beds with her since then, in fact I've been hesitant to share a room with her after that! Other than snake nightmares and her dislike of Bon Jovi after 14 hours one way, we do great together.

This time, there were no screams. The first night, I realized my mom had moved from screaming to snoring. Major snoring. Husband like snoring. But unlike my husband, I cannot push my mom over or put my hand over her mouth. Well, I can, but it's not the same when it's your mom. Sometimes, with a really snoring husband, there is a slight urge to put a pillow over his face instead of over my head. But there is always the danger of him suffocating and then I would end on Dateline trying to convince Ann Curry that I didn't really kill him on purpose, I was only trying to sleep and end that noise! And no one would believe me! And that is really not an option with my mom. So, I got out the Ipod (thank goodness for updated technology since 1989) and slept through the snoring. I suppose I will share more of Philadelphia later but for now I will just say it was a blast, snoring and all, every second.

While I was with my mom, my kids were without their mom. I never felt guilty-they are big boys now so I have long moved on past the guilt of leaving them for a few days, in fact I have am now in the, 'you will be fine, mom's need a break from teenage boys, good luck with dad' stage. If you're not there yet, you must have little kids, trust me, you'll get there and it's a glorious stage. For 3 days I blocked out all images of what I knew they were all doing: eating lots of junk food, stacking dirty dishes in the sink, and playing video games for 12 hours straight. Probably all in boxer shorts. I'm sure there was food all over the living room. My primary concern was the house was still standing when I arrived. Their diet, sleep and clean underwear were the least of my worries as I drank martinis with my mom. I requested, and received, very few updates other than a few texts from me to Tyler: everything okay? Tyler: yes. Short, sweet, all I needed to know.

Tyler called me Saturday afternoon for a quick chat about the swim meet. Although I'd left clear directions for my husband on how to get to the meet and to print a map ahead of time (swim meets start at 645 am,) I dont think either happened. Tyler summed up getting to the swim meet on time by saying: 'I only had to be you for a little while mom. Other than that, we got there okay.' At least there is hope for one of the boys. :)

Maybe in a few years when Tyler is 19, he will want to take a weekend trip with me and I can let him drag me around to some place he is fascinated by. I've got my fingers crossed.


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